One of the common wishes/requests I hear from younger folks (of which I am one) is the need for a mentor.  We’re trying to figure this out at New Life Fellowship, and one of the ways we’re hoping to do this is by hosting inter-generational events (retreats, classes, and connections) that will create opportunities for mentor-type relationships to form naturally.

With that said, we’re still looking for intentional ways to create mentoring relationships, so if you have any thoughts, please comment here.

In the meantime, if you’re looking for a mentor, here’s what I’d suggest:

1)  Ask – This is easily the first step, but often the most overlooked.  Usually it’s a simple case of “you do not have because you do not ask.”

2)  Be persistent (but not overly-persistent) – If the first request doesn’t work out, don’t give up, God might be leading you elsewhere.  If you’re not sure if you’re being overly-persistent, ask.

3)  Come to classes (or small groups led by older folks) - You can get brief “mentoring” times by coming, learning, asking, and even finding times afterward to ask questions, etc.  *Learners are usually the most attractive people for older folks to mentor.

I’m thankful that NLF has a bevy of different age groups that we can attempt to create mentoring opportunities between older, wiser folks and younger people who are just starting out.

Here’s a quick list of mentors I’ve had throughout the years, and how I met them:

1)  Ralph Dyaz – TA in our 4th grade class at Mar Vista Elementary School.

2)  Edwin & Esther Chung & LWEC Youth leaders – Family friends and Sunday School Teachers who made a significant impact on our family and all the brothers.

3)  James Yim – Pastor of a small church plant in LA that we attended in high school.  Now the lead pastor at Living Way Community Church.

4)  Gary Nomura and Loc Ta – CCC Staff at our college fellowship at UC Berkeley.

5)  John Shim – Pastor of Eastbay Baptist Church, which we attended in college.

6)  Mark Taft – NLF.

7)  Jim Owens – NLF.

8)  Pete & Geri Scazzero – NLF.

9)  Jay Feld- NLF.

10)  Craig and Ellen Fee – NLF.

11)  Ken Shigematsu, pastor at Tenth Ave Church in Vancouver, CA.  I met Ken through the Sandy Ford Fellowship, which I got connected to through Pete Scazzero.

12)  John McCauley – CEO of Muskoka Woods in Ontario.  I met John through the Younger Leaders’ Gathering affiliated with Lausanne, which I was connected through via the Sandy Ford Fellowship.

13)  Paul Lim- Professor at Vanderbilt University, he was a seminary professor of mine while I was at Gordon-Conwell.

There’s many more I could add to this list (including all the elders and staff at NLF), but these people are folks I’ve had significant conversations with about life, love, work, and basketball.  I’m not even sure if some of these people would consider me a “mentee”, but these people have been great influences in my life, and I wouldn’t be who I am if I didn’t have these folks.

Some of these relationships I simply fell into – being in the right place, at the right time.  Others, I had to keep showing up and asking.

Either way, if one takes the posture of an avid learner, I think one can fall into these types of relationships too.

Hopefully I’ll be able to post these once a month.

1.  Tony and Louise Simone – The Simones are a dream for any church to have – wise, seasoned, and mature people of faith who bring a presence of hospitality and warmth wherever they go.  Tony runs his own business and Louise is a schoolteacher, and they are the parents of three adult children and a few grandchildren (I forget how many but I know they’re adorable).  I’ve worked with these folks in Alpha and small groups, and I think folks who know them would agree that these two are gems to our community.

2.  Cate Song – If you don’t know by now, Cate is a phenom in NLF circles as one of our worship leaders, and she’s apt to become more well known as she continues to travel with her music.  You should buy her cd if you have a chance.  The thing is, if you get to know her, you find out that she’s as quality a person as one will ever meet, in addition to her immense talent.  She’s fun, easy-going, and really thoughtful.  And she has served our communities in many more ways than just her music – I think mainly by being her winsome self.

3.  Victor Rodriguez and Nelly Calzada (and kids Mia and Januel) – Fellow Astorians, Victor and Nelly are a great family to have in the neighborhood.  They are charming, cheerful, and funny – really funny.  Victor works for Intouch ministries while Nelly works in television.  They’re one of the few families I know who have moved to NYC from the suburbs of a Southern city and absolutely love it here (and can recognize how God is moving in NYC).  Their kids are really terrific, too.  These guys make me believe I actually live in Astoria.  Oh, and they volunteer in our worship ministry and they’re thinking about hosting/leading a small group.

4.  Monique Ambrose – Monique is one of our faithful greeters, and she has the personality and smile that suits her for it.  There’s a peace and inviting spirit that Monique exudes, and it’s evident whenever I see her.  She’s a schoolteacher during the week, and I’ve always admired her earnest heart for God and the hopefulness she always seems to carry.  She’s also part of a small group in Flushing and is the proud mother of a college student!

5.  Brian Petersen – More affectionately known as BP, this southpaw is a leadoff hitter, counselor, small group leader, and acoustic singer  extraordinaire.  This guy absolutely kills me with his jokes and his references to Pete Incaviglia and Kirk McKaskill.  His band Liminal Space puts on a dang good show, too.  I respect him for his willingness to go deeper in his soul searching and wanting to be a blessing to Astoria – wow, two Astorians made the list this time around!

The poor have time, and the rich have money.

I’ve been thinking about the above statement for some time (it was in a devotional I read, as well as hinted at the movie God Grew Tired of Us and the book What Is the What), and my trip to the Philippines was a confirmation of sorts. It’s certainly a generality to say that all poor people are living unhurried lives while struggling for money, and that all rich people are busy while making loads of money, but I think there’s an element of truth to the gifts of being poor and rich, respectively.

Either way, the grass always seems to be greener on the other side, and it’s difficult to fully grasp the value of time and money if we don’t have it…. and if we do have it.

When we were in the Philippines, we saw some poverty.  I mean, I was actually shocked at some of the living quarters that housed up to 15.  There were unpaved, muddy roads, no discernible bathrooms, and malnourished children and adults.  I’m not sure what I was expecting, but what I saw certainly did not fit my Western expectations.  I didn’t expect the neighborhood to be as poor as it was.  When it dawned on me that this is the neighborhood in which Rick and Jiji chose to live, I was flabbergasted.

But man, the people and children in Nangka have so much JOY.  They love to tell stories, explore nature, tell jokes, to laugh and sing.  There was so much LIFE flowing out of the families.  I think it’s safe to say that every single one of our team members came away grateful and encouraged by how loving and giddy the Filipinos were despite their outward circumstances.

Leonila and family with our team in front of her home. She's the one in the blue in the middle of the picture. She's one of the many bright, hard-working, sweet, and godly women we met.

One example of this is G1:27’s head tutor, Leonila.  She lived in a small shack on the edge of a dried up river bed with her large family, and yet, she was one of the most hard-working, bright, sweet, and godly women we met.  Amazing.

Part of the Filipinos’ presence is captivating because they have loads of time to hang out, play in the street, and chill with their families.  We couldn’t help compare our circumstances to theirs – we lived full, driven, protected lives, while the lives of the Filipinos are generally relaxed, family-centered, and joyful.

But that doesn’t mean these families don’t want or need money.  Of course they do, and sometimes to a fault.  But as an outsider looking in, I wanted to say, “You have something absolutely beautiful here.”  There’s a context in which God can really take root and be noticed and cherished in some of the simple things in life – food, shelter, family, and friendships.

Meanwhile, we were rich, and we felt it.  Some kids joked at how fat I was (not in a mean way).  I could spend $3/day and have an absolute feast of rice, pork, halo halo, and one hour at the internet cafe.

Sure, there’s relative poverty and wealth when one goes to other countries, but I definitely didn’t come away from the Philippines thinking, “I’m so poor!”

Instead, I came away thinking, I have it good.

But there’s a way that God gets lost in all that I have here and in all that I do here.  In fact, the common refrain I hear from people in NYC is “I’m so busy”.

The whole capitalistic, western mind-set pushes one toward busy-ness, often to a fault.  In fact, our greatest virtues – working hard, generating wealth/jobs, innovation – can also be our greatest curse, because we’re left without time for contemplation, family, and joy.

And when it comes down to it, I still want to live in the physical, material comfort of the West over the inconvenience and somewhat dirty surroundings of the poor – and I think impoverished folks do too.  After all, like I mentioned on Sunday, little girls still die for lack of $50 in poor communities.

But we don’t fully know what we’re missing.  And we don’t know the cost of losing so much time and so much contemplation until we’ve lost it.

Ultimately I’m grateful for people like Rick and Jiji who bridge these communities.  I hope New Life Fellowship can be such a community that connects the poor to the rich, and the rich to the poor, teaching each other the value of time and money in the process.

I’m still terribly jet-lagged, which means I’m wide-eyed at 2:07 am.  Well, I’m almost never wide-eyed (I was reminded of my smallish eyes countless times while in the Philippines) but please accept the euphemism.

I thought I’d give some thoughts about our marvelous team.  I love ‘em.

1)  Hannah Speiller – Our youngest member at the tender age of 17, I often had to remind myself that she was only 17.  She has a precocious presence about her, and an unfading energy that loves to tell fabulous stories, make funky music with her mouth, and make kids smile.  It was such a joy to have Hannah on the trip, and she was always up for fun… anytime, anywhere, laughter would follow her wherever we went.  I told her that when I was in high school, she was the friend I would die to have – cool and popular, kind, bookish, and godly.

2)  Mike Favilla – People joked that I had a man crush on Mike, and quite frankly, it’s true.  Mike is a giant teddy bear, in addition to being a guy’s guy.  I can easily hang out with him for hours on end.  Not a day has gone by when I’ve mentioned to Tina, “Do you remember when Mike…”?  She’s a little worried.  Loyal, dependable, flute-playing, hilarious, easy-going, servant-hearted – that’s Mike Favilla.  He also won the contest of most friendship bracelets from the kids, I believe.  He even pointed the kids toward me when he noticed I didn’t have any.  How can you not love the guy?  Ladies, the man is single.

3)  Rosy Kandathil – Rosy is an amazing woman.  She is super fun, smart, insightful, wise, and so much more.  I had the utmost respect for Rosy going on the trip, and my opinion soared even higher.  Rick said it well one night – when Rosy is with people, she’s with them.  It doesn’t matter who the person is – a child, teenager, or adult – Rosy is with people.  That takes incredible maturity, folks, especially when someone of her natural gifts and status can be intimidating.  Also, have any of you heard Rosy preach or teach?  You really should.  And if you haven’t seen her paint, you really should.  And if you haven’t heard her sing at karaoke, you really should.  And, I’ll stop.

4)  Joe Philip – I’ve already mentioned Joe in my previous post, but man, this guy is the man.  What struck me most on this trip was his willingness to serve, even-keel, joyfulness, and passion for Jesus.  He led Spirit-led worship for us, fended off lizards, slayed spiders, and oh by the way, he’s also a doctor who tended to sick team members.  He did this while sick, ladies and gentleman.  I didn’t even know the brother was sick!  He’s the type of person that people move toward – I think it’s because he’s one of the least judgmental fellows I know.  I know this sounds crazy, but the fact that Joe is a Yankee fan almost made me one too on this trip.  Almost… until Mike would parade around with his Yankee gear.

5)  Anna Philip – Anna is such an inspiration to me.  She made a profound effect on the people she met, and I noticed this most on our last night, when kids would line up to embrace her.  I admire how she wears her emotions on her sleeves, whether it’s pure joy at the sight of coffee, fearful yelps at over-sized bugs, or compassionate tears for a family in need.  There seemed to be a seamless intersection of Anna’s stories and peoples’ stories that brought about deep connection, and I was moved many times when I saw or heard these encounters.  Plus, she’s got this toughness and tenacity that’s hard to describe – her team would win all these games and I wouldn’t get mad – weird, right?

6)  Christina Park – Any time I get to gush about my lovely wife, I will .  I’m so thankful she went on this trip, and we had an extraordinary time together.  I appreciate so much how she’s strong where I’m weak, and how she leads with great care, service, and decisiveness.  Every night we would discuss the day’s events, laugh at all the silly occurrences, remind each other of how grateful we are, and fall asleep with great joy and contentment.  There were a couple of disagreements we had, but in usual Tina fashion, she was super gracious and beautifully differentiated.  In almost 90% of the letters I received, they read, “Dear Kuya Drew, Ate Tina is lovely and beautiful.”  I get facebook messages regularly that are not asking about me, but about Ate Tina and if she’s free to talk to them.  I can get used to living in my wife’s shadow.  I am a lucky, lucky man.  My wife is the best.

7)  Josh De Castro – An honorary guest on our trip, Josh is a student in Manila who was also with the Harners for two weeks.  I appreciated Josh’s eager willingness to grow and be challenged as a person.  He made a commitment to be a whole-hearted follower of Christ while on the trip!  We talked many times in the evenings and I would notice a deep desire to love God and others, and that really struck me.  He’s back in Manila, and hopefully feeling better after battling a headache for the past few days.

8)  Rick Harner – I can’t say enough about Rick.  I absolutely loved spending time with him.  Aside from having me rolling on the floor a few times with jokes he would make here and there, he has one of the biggest hearts I’ve come across.  Meanwhile, he’s a visionary leader who has seen the fruit of his dreams come to reality in that community.  I marveled at how much they had done in just four years.  Kuya Rick is a household name in Nangka.  Meanwhile, one of Rick’s head tutors described him this way:  1) Faithful to God, 2) Good Father, and 3) Strict (in a good way).  He didn’t pay her to say this… this is just who he has shown himself to be for four years.

9)  Jiji Harner – Jiji has an infectious smile and spirit, and she’s a tremendous visionary leader too.  These guys are a power-packed couple.  She’s wise and fun, so people kinda flock to her – as in, the whole neighborhood.  If you’ve heard her testimony, you’d know why I call her a hero.  The same tutor described Jiji:  1) Faithful to God, 2) Good Mother, and 3) Fighter (in a good way).  I am amazed at her courage, her giving heart, and her leadership.  She’s making an indelible impact on leaders in the Philippines, people in their community, and young women throughout.

10)  Josephine and Alicia Harner – These girls, three and two, respectively, are to die for.  I become putty in their hands when I’m with them, and I’m pretty sure they know this.

It’s been 12 hours since I got off the plane from our trip to the Philippines.  I had no idea the past two weeks would impact me as they did, but I can’t deny that a piece of my heart is in the Philippines.  Here are a few initial reflections:

1.  The Harners are Crazy – I think this was my most regular revelation.  Almost everything they’ve done in their Nangka community is counter-cultural.  Moving back to the Philippines and then moving into a poor community, starting a tutoring center to love kids who the world easily forgets, creating jobs for people in the community as tutors/mentors and much more, educating the next generation and giving incentives for impoverished kids to go to school, introducing emotionally healthy spirituality to pastors, leaders, ex-prostitutes, ex-users, missionaries, etc., investing in a church community of young professionals, re-uniting long lost families, and the list goes on and on and on.

It’s really hard to describe what they do and how they’ve gone about doing it.  Most of the world would see what they’re doing as “crazy”.

I think to some degree, there’s a glamorization of working in cross-cultural settings in the west.  Although most of us recognize that it’s tough, we still view it as noble.

However, in the Philippines, the Harners are regularly seen as fools (and called such) for moving back.  They receive regular criticism for doing what they do, as if they’re wasting their lives and not doing anything worthwhile.

It’s abundantly clear why they’re labeled fools.  The accommodations are less than ideal, they have considerably less resources, the kids they work with have minimal chance of getting out of poverty, they are bombarded with financial favors from people in the neighborhood, and they deal with stigmas of having an inter-racial family.

Why would anyone want this kind of life?

Because they’re crazy.

Crazy for what?  I’ll let you decide after you read their blog.

2.  Mud, Heat, and Bugs became my Nemesis (or whatever the plural of Nemesis is) - I know this sounds really weak sauce, but there were regular reminders of how comfortable I am.  I can deal with any kind of food or with non-western toilets, but throw a little mud on my feet and something inside me dies.

Meanwhile mosquitoes gorged on my legs, and the heat continually downed me (and it was the cool season!).

I was certainly confronted with my nemesis while studying Philippians with our team and wondering, would I do anything for Christ?

My answer:  I won’t know until I’m actually called to do it.

Gulp.

Then my thoughts would go to the crazy Harners.  You see why I thought of them so much?

Special thanks to Joe Philip, spider hunter and lizard chaser.  Meanwhile, Anna and Joe provided us with mosquito coils that saved us from getting eaten at night.

3.  Our Team was Really, Really Special – Joe dubbed us the unoriginal “Dream Team” and I couldn’t agree more.  We had a great balance of toughness, an easy-going manner, compassion, and a servant’s heart.  And we laughed.  A lot.

There’s so much I could say about each person, but I’ll save that for another post.  These guys will forever have my affections, and there’s no doubt that this team made this trip extra extra special.

Combined with the personality of Rick, Gigi, and the girls, we had outstanding chemistry.

The biggest challenge was getting Alicia to like me, but that was minimal compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing I could buy Josie’s friendship with chocolate – lots of chocolate.

4.  Last but not least, I LOVE the Filipino people – Fun, friendly, and hospitable.  These were the words I most often heard from natives about their people, and I found it to be true.

We felt so much love that we did not deserve.  Some of the people we met could be so joyful when they have so little.

Everyone we met – from G1:27, pastors and leaders, Olive Grove, Padala Ministries, IJM, and Grace Christian Church (for Tina and I in Manila) were so welcoming and encouraging.  We went there to bless and got blessed.  Strange how that works, huh?

I want to especially thank the kids from G1:27, whom we spent the most time with during our stay.  You are an inspiration to me, and you warmed my heart to no end.

Never underestimate that you are made in God’s image.  A fitting message for me, for you, and for the world.

More to come…

Completely unprovoked and unassuming, an elderly woman walked up to where I was sitting on the R train this morning and spit on me.  It was more of a spray than a glob, which took me a while to process (Did she just spit on me? How can spit be sprayed? What just happened?), but yes, it was almost as shocking as if a random stranger had come and kissed me on the cheek.  I would have preferred the kiss, obviously, but I imagine both to be equally disorienting.

I had just hopped onto the train and settled in my seat when this happened.  This is why I think the “attack” was unprovoked.  There was hardly any time to offend her (although perhaps my scent was offensive – Tina wouldn’t have let me out of the house if this was the case, though).

Anyhow, once I got over the sheer randomness of this encounter (there were only about 15-20 people in the train), I said to the woman, “Excuse me, you just spit on me.”

That’s when the curse words started to fly.

“What’d you say, !@#($*&?!  You better stop talking to me &($*#@*.  Mother%$&*^% I can still hear you breathing!”

Uh, what?  You spit on me, remember?

“$#@^&*^@#%$Z!”

At this point, everyone was looking, staring, wondering. I looked at the gentleman who was sitting right across from her and he shook his head and put his forefinger to his mouth, signaling for me not to say anything.

My stop was next.  The cursing continued.  I stared blankly at my accuser.

I listened intently to hear if there would be any racial epithets.  None.

“Okay, it’s not because I’m Korean,” I thought.

Grand Ave/Newtown.  My stop.

I simply swabbed away the spittle, took one last look at the angry woman, and walked out the sliding doors.

…

It was an unsettling experience for sure, and I immediately thought of Cate’s recent post about another unnerving subway ride.

“The world shouldn’t be this way,” I thought. In the words of Neil Plantinga Jr., “This is not the way it’s supposed to be.”

A rush of dis-ease hit me when she started cursing with the most piercing invectives – I as absolutely shocked that such venom was being directed at me.

What did I do?  What did I say?  I did nothing wrong.  I didn’t even react harshly when the deed was done.

I felt flustered and tense, angry and… scared.

Why was I scared?  The woman was 60-70 years old, I estimated.  She was frail and small, almost as if I could have broken her with a single loud yelp.  The tale of the tape was no contest.

And then it hit me.  This is exactly what I felt as a child growing up – hoping to mind my own business, disappearing in the realm of safe longings – yet having to live in the constant fear of blindsiding anger.

I felt like a child when she cursed at me.  Helpless, humiliated, and… scared.

The names and faces are different, but the feelings are the same.  Shellshocked by anger.  Wondering where it all went wrong.  What do I do with this rage, this stiffness, this fear that explodes inside me.

But this time, I wipe away the smear, bow to the one whose anger I bear, and walk away into a beautiful life.

Some things never change, but some things do.

I thought I’d start a series of posts on cool people in our New Life Fellowship community.  I know, I know, everyone’s cool, so hopefully I can highlight more and more people as the days progress.

1) Karelyn Siegler – Karelyn’s an artist/art teacher who teaches at different schools such as Parsons, Kings College, and the New School.  I get regular updates from her about work that she’s doing with students, inspiring them to dream about art, their lives, and the reality of God.  You can find out more about her at her website, but yes, very cool.  Plus, she’s a great swing dancer and has been part of our Forest Hills community.

2) Helen Sung – If you haven’t heard already, Helen is an exceptional jazz pianist.  You can read her bio at her site to get a sense of how she’s got mad skillz.  And you haven’t heard her play!  Which, of course, means you must go out to see one of her gigs sometime.  She’s really breaking new ground in jazz as an Asian-American woman (unintentionally, I might add – I don’t think she knows what an inspiration she is!).  Word.  She’s also been a regular volunteer with our worship/arts community, and she’s a great person to talk sports with – yes, any sport.  Btw, you can become a fan of hers on facebook here.

3) Omar Morales – Aside from being a hilarious guy, he’s an elementary school teacher who leads a men’s group at New Life while also leading a youth group for people who want to know more about God.  If you hang out with him for 5 minutes, you’ll realize why kids love him and you’ll hear a random story from his life that will have you rolling on the ground somehow.  I had the privilege of also watching him hit the most incredible 3-pointer in the history of NLF basketball.

4)  Joe & Anna Philip – Joe and his lovely wife Anna are on our Philippines team this year, and although Joe’s a Yankee fan, he’s one of the most fun-loving, easy-going, sports playing, music sounding, food-making renaissance men out there.  Oh, and he’s a doctor.  Anna rivals Joe’s prowess in all of the above while working in the business world and carrying a huge heart for marginalized, disenfranchised people.  I can’t wait to hang out with them in the Philippines.

There’s some fascinating discussion taking place on the following blogs:

Soong-Chan Rah’s Blog

The Deadly Viper Blog

Here’s another blog from Eugene Cho that has a perspective that I largely agree with.  Thanks for posting this, Eugene.

Basically, Deadly Viper is a movement that encourages people to foster greater character and integrity in their lives.  They use Asian images (kung-fu, Chinese language characters, other martial arts, etc.) as part of their marketing campaign.  Some of their material (not all), has been found to be offensive to the Asian American community.  I found one of the videos to be really off-putting as a Korean-American.

In sum, here are my thoughts.

1)  I’m all about Deadly Viper. Their content is about character and integrity and living a godward life.  I’m down with that, and I think Mike and Jud should be commended for trying to promote this kind of life.

2)  I don’t know either of the guys personally, but everything I’ve heard from them and about them has been positive. Personally, I know that if I meet either of them I’m going to tell them both that I’m a fan of what they’re doing (sans some of the videos and images related to DV).  

3)  Even good people can have blindspots - This is why we need accountability and community – and a diverse community certainly helps.  I don’t think either of these guys knew the kind of outcry that would come from the Asian-American community.  I can safely assume this because again, everything I’ve heard about these guys from mutual acquaintances is that they’re great guys, and I know that they have friendships and relationships beyond the white community.

As another example of blindspots, someone came up to me recently at New Life and said, “You have mad chinky eyes.”  I was shocked.  I immediately wanted to react a certain way, but I knew this person, and I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt, so I corresponded with the person privately, sharing that I know this person to be a wonderful character, but I wanted to point out how I was shocked to hear this from this person.

Sure enough, the person apologized profusely and said “I really didn’t know!”

These kinds of incidents happen more often than not – even in NYC, even at New Life Fellowship.

4)  I’m also a big fan of Soong-Chan’s – For all five of you who read this blog (one of which is my wife), you know that I’ve highlighted his book The Next Evangelicalism a few times.  I think he brings a prophetic voice to Evangelicals, one that calls us to reflect on issues of race and power.  Please, please, please read his book if you have a chance.

With that said, even Soong-Chan has blind spots – just like me, just like you.

5)  Emotionally Healthy Maturity and Skills are important – Whenever conflict arises and offense is taken, it takes gospel-strength, maturity, skills, and wisdom to be non-defensive and non-offensive.  At New Life, we often speak about this in terms of differentiation, and it’s almost impossible to have a constructive conversation about touchy subjects like race without it.  This means the following skills are helpful:

- Listening/Incarnating

- Speaking and Articulating Feelings

- Healthy Complaints with request for Change

A discussion can quickly lead to an argument without EH skills, and sooner or later, offensive and defensive language is everywhere.  For examples of this, see my marriage.  Haha, sorry, honey.

But I think this discussion found in the blogs quickly went offensive and defensive, unfortunately.

6)  In the discussion between DV and Prof. Rah, I’m torn that this conversation went public. On one hand, public discussion gets the word out and effectuates change.  On the other hand, public critque stings more than it’s usually intended.  Could this discussion have taken place privately and extensively and effectuated change? I don’t know, but a big part of me wishes this was so.

It doesn’t help that ultimately, I like what Prof. Rah and DV are about.

Moreover, remaining “quiet” or “quieter” about the issue would have further accentuated the particular pain in the Korean-American experience – not having a voice that is heard.

Ultimately, what would the loving thing have been?

7)  I believe the loving thing goes back to listening, speaking, requesting, and forgiving well. From everyone involved.

8)  Beautiful, Disappointing, Hopeful – This discussion, like so many others on race and the gospel, has become one big Beautiful Mess.  I love that this is what the Christian Journey often looks like – beautiful and disappointing, all at the same time.

And yet, we are called to Radical Hopefulness as we wade through this Beautiful Mess.

Gotta Love it.

Here are some recent thoughts I’ve had lately:

1)  It’s killing me that the Clips gave the game away to Phoenix last night. I’m probably 1 of 15 people in the world who care about this, but such is my life.

2)  I’m sad to be missing the Young Adult Retreat this weekend, mostly because I know it’s gonna be a fabulous time.  I’m also bummed I missed the marriage retreat last weekend.

Myself, Andy, and Rich at Catalyst.

3)  I’m still processing my time at Catalyst. I think the conference brought out a lot of my issues with race, alienation, and identity.  At the very least, I’m still really grateful for our time with Andy Crouch.  We have to find a way to get him to New Life.

4)  I’ve read some cool books lately, especially Things Hidden by Richard Rohr, and The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker.  I’d highly recommend both, although I must warn you that it will take some time to ponder what these gentlemen seem to be saying!  These two books have found their way into sermons I’ve preached recently too.

5)  I think Cal’s basketball team is overrated. I thought the same of our football team this year, but yes, I’ll go ahead and publicly say that I think #12 is really high for us.  We don’t have the athleticism to hang with the top tier teams.

With that said, I’m very very proud of where our basketball and football teams have come.

I’m bummed I can’t make the Cal game at Madison Square Garden in November.

6)  I love NYC. With all of its outlandishness (dirty, crowded, noisy, etc), there’s still no place like NYC.  The people, the vibe, the food – all aces.

7)  I love Top Chef. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been this captivated by a television show.  Maybe Survivor season 2?  My favorite this season is Kevin.  He, Richard Blais, and Dale Talde are my favorite contestants ever.

I never thought I’d say this, but on Wednesday, for the first time in my life, I was anticipating a television show more than the World Series.

8)  Tina’s the best.

Our Philippines team thanks you for all your support!

9)  I’m excited about our Philippines Trip in November. Whenever I hear of another person lending their support, I am humbled and grateful beyond belief.  I am so honored to know you, our team, and the Harners who have given their life for their community in Cebu.

10)  I’m very fortunate to have the brothers that I do. The past few weeks we’ve had a chance to celebrate Evan and Eli’s first birthdays.  Whenever I have a chance to spend time with my brothers and their families, I get replenished in ways that I don’t anywhere else.

And my nephews are so dang cute.

Our Family Photo @ Eli's 1st Bday sans Phil and Viv.

11)  I love our staff team – current and past. I’ve met and worked with some incredible people at New Life Fellowship.  I am so ridiculously blessed to know them.

One day, we’ll get a group picture taken on a digital camera.

I was disappointed that the Angels lost (and the way they lost with playing uncharacteristically sloppy baseball), but man, this Yankee team is scary.  They’re really built to win a 5-game or 7-game series this year with their three frontline starters and solid bullpen.  And man, Mo is lights out.

I saw this interview with AJ Burnett after the game, and he said that the most impressive part of Mo’s game is his confidence.

I must say, there’s no other closer in baseball who inspires the same confidence.  Even when K-Rod was having his record season, I’d get nervous every time he pitched.  With Mo, it’s over.  I had resigned defeat when he ran onto the mound in the 8th inning.  If Joba would have still been in the game, I’m 85% sure the Angels would have rallied.

Me, Peter, and smug Yankee fans Mike and Alan. This photo was after an Angel loss to the Yanks a few years ago.

By the way, I wanted to make a comment about Yankee fans.  One reason I’m not so deflated by this loss is because it was to the Yankees and not the Red Sox.

What’s ironic about this is that I used to like the Red Sox, and I rooted for them to beat the Yankees every year.  However, something changed after I actually lived in the New England area.

It wasn’t a particular episode or event that changed my perception of Boston… it was a gradual annoyance with the fan base… in every sport.

Keep in mind I was there before and after the World Series win in ‘04.

The ‘04 win only exacerbated one of my grievances against the fan base – they got even more irrationally passionate and defensive.  SN:  One exception to this is Bill Simmons, who is irrationally passionate but not as defensive.  I love reading his Boston stuff because he’s admittedly irrationally passionate… and hilariously so.

It’s just hard to argue with a Red Sox fan or talk trash to them.  Things get personal.  Moms and families get thrown under the bus.  Insults are made.

I thought Red Sox fan would chill out after they won a couple of championships, but in my experience, it’s gotten worse.

But with Yankee fans, it’s different.  And I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I actually respect Yankee fans.  Now, many of them are bandwagon fans, and it’s ridiculous and maddening that there are so many of them in every opposing stadium, but in my experience, they’ve been really good fans.

Yankee fans are passionate and smug, but not mean and derisive.  Sure, they talk some trash, and they’ll ride you for rooting for an opposing team, but there’s a certain calm arrogance that accompanies their passion.

When talking to them I don’t get the feeling of “You’re dumb and we’re gonna destroy your team!”.  Instead, I get “It’s going to be fun beating your team along with the rest of the baseball universe.  I think you should join our cause instead of agonizing over there.”  Or, I get “Hahaha, that’s funny.”  Smug.  Overconfident.  I rarely sense defensiveness.

I’ll give you this example.  Back in ‘03 when the Yankees were battling the Marlins in the WS, I remember talking trash to Mike Favilla at the beginning of the series.  He, of course, was his usual Yankee-loving self, and brushed off my statements.

When the Marlins actually won the series and Beckett pitched like a maniac, I remember gloating about the win and calling Mike and telling him how thrilling it was that a smaller salaried team took it to the Yanks, Clemens didn’t get to go out on top, yada, yada, yada.

Mike laughs as I’m talking, and then he says with complete sincerity:

“It’s okay, Beckett is a free agent in a couple of years.  He’ll be in a Yankee uniform by then.”

That’s the mentality of Yankee Fan, ladies and gentleman.

I think Jeter and Mo carry the same persona.  A-rod didn’t… until this year.  Tex and CC have the same mentality, it seems.

I think winning (and the willingness to spend $) breeds that type of confidence.

If I were in Mike’s shoes and someone was calling me after the loss, I would have done the following:

- Complained about the Umpiring

- Ignored the Phone Call

- Made Disparaging Remarks about the opposing teams players.

- Made Disparaging Remarks about the city of the other team, and tell them how much better our city is than theirs.

Losing breeds this kind of irrational, emotional passion.  I think I’m finally understanding what Danny has been talking about regarding Cal fans.

I’ve come to the realization that I despise Red Sox fans because that’s precisely who I am when it comes to my teams – irrational, defensive, angry, and melancholy.

That’s what losing can do to one’s outlook.  I grieve for you, Met and Jet fan.

But I stand in solidarity with you.

And even if I may respect you Yankee fan, I still stand on the other side of the fence with Mr. Met.

And I must say, the food and feel of Citi field is so much better than the new Yankee Stadium.

See what I mean?

Okay, I realize this only describes some Yankee fans (or just Mike Favilla), but this is the consistent feel I get from the fans I know.

A text from Hydie Kim last week:

“Whether I’m confident or overconfident is subjective.  Either way I call it faith.”

A text from Joe Philip last night:

“It was a great series… I actually like the Angels and would’ve rooted for them if they beat the Yankees… sorry bro.”

Sigh.

There’s a spiritual lesson in here somewhere.