Friendships through Marriage

Last weekend I had the great privilege of officiating the wedding ceremony for my good friend Paul Jung and his lovely bride Jane Pak (officiating weddings is one of my favorite roles as a pastor).

I had a blast.

Aside from Paul and Jane being a fun & splendid couple, one of the reasons the wedding weekend was so enjoyable is because I knew many of the people involved in the wedding.  My brother-in-law David was a groomsman, and I knew a few of the other guests as well, a few of whom I’d count as good friends.

The thing is, these friendships have all come through my wife Tina (well, with the exception of Danny Chai, who knew us both before we had even met!).

When people at the wedding asked me how I knew Paul, I shared how Tina was David’s brother who was Paul’s best friend.  I would then share how I was really sad that Tina couldn’t be there because so many of her friends were there that weekend.

While the above is true, I realize I could have easily shared that I count Paul as my good friend, too, enough that I actually connect with him without going through Tina.

There are quite a few friends I’ve made through Tina this way, probably too many to list here.  I find myself quite lucky in this regard.

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A picture of the happy couple - Jane and Paul. This is a picture with Paul's family. Jane, you're gaining new family and friends!

I think Single and Married folks can relate to this when I say that relationships change when someone gets hitched.

The “two-become-one” dynamic means that each married person has to recalibrate their relationships so that it’s amenable to the new married unit.

Sometimes, as a result, marriage can have drastic effects on friendships.

Anyone whose been married or anyone who has married friends can probably attest to the change.

——

Last weekend made me realize yet another reason I’m so grateful for my wife.

We’ve been happily married for a little over four years now, and my appreciation for Tina has deepened with every passing day/month/year.  She’s really a special person.

In addition to that, though, she’s introduced me to a really wonderful group of people.

I love my in-laws, for one, and I usually can’t wait to see them when we meet up during breaks and vacations.

But in addition, I love the friends I’ve made through Tina.  Although most of Tina’s childhood friends are misguided in their sports affiliations (most are UT fans or Houston sports fans), I count many of Tina’s childhood friends my personal friends.

In NYC, the people she’s introduced me to are some of my favorite people to hang out with.

Anyhow, I won’t name them all because I’m afraid I’ll forget someone, but I’m thankful for my wife’s friends who are now my friends.

They probably wouldn’t like me or tolerate if it weren’t for Tina, but this is yet more evidence that suggests I married “up.”

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